ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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