Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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