dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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