i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
