glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
