Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
