I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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