I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
