lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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