that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
