Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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