just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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