Acid is not a monday night drug
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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