So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
