Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
