i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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