This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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