youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
