Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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