I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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