We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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