I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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