If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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