so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
