Jerry, you need to find god
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
