You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
whose parrot is this?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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