Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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