what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
