oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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