just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
