The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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