Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I love you.
Bad choice
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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