We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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