He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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