At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
