the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
