Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
