And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
