I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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