The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
