Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
