And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
