My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
