I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize