the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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