if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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