we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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