At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
