I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize