remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
