Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
