I need help removing her.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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