accomplished twins. life is a go
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
