i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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