Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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