What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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