great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
