I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
