just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
