Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
